Dear Fat Jeans,
I'm afraid we must part ways. You see, we've grown apart; there's too much distance between us. The fit…well, it's just not right between us anymore.
It's not you, Fat Jeans, it's me. I've changed.
Honestly, I can't say that I regret it.
You served me well, Fat Jeans. You supported me. You helped to shape me. You were comfortable, you were understanding. You were there for me in times of water retention and one (okay, ten) too many oreo cookies. You have remained a constant in my life; even when I got too big for my britches, you waited for me.
I can tell you're worn out. I've put too much pressure on you at times. I regret that, more than you can know.
I held on to you for years- years longer than I should have. Now, I have to move on, I have to walk away, for the good of both of us. I trust that you'll move on too… you'll find another girl who relies on you, needs you, appreciates you in ways that I simply can't anymore.
So this is goodbye, Fat Jeans. Goodbye to you and your friends….all the size 4x and 3x's, the 28's, the 26's, and even the 24's.
Dear Goal Pants,
Hi. I've seen you around here and there for a while now. Not very often, I'll admit, but then, I don't get down to your drawer as much as I would like to.
I don't know if you remember me, but our mutual friend Angela introduced us. When she lost all that weight in 2006/2007, she passed you on to me, since she was moving on.
Angela's pretty amazing, I'll agree. Once she started exercising and dieting and losing all that weight she was a completely changed person- she'd gone from being overweight to being this gorgeous skinny b*tch (and I say that with great affection!) who was training for half marathons and triathalons and all kinds of other physical stuff I had to google to find out what they really were.
Angela really inspired me.
Do you know that because of her, I did my first (and to date, the only) 5K run in October of 2007? It was a year after Logan was born, and I was around 330lbs.
Let me tell you, there is nothing good about a 330lb woman trying to do a 5K.
But Angela was there for me. She cheered me on when she passed me on her run, and at the finish line she came back and did the last quarter mile right at my side. She was my cheerleader that day, and I can never forget how she made me feel.
Thats when she introduced me to you, Goal Pants, to encourage me in my quest for weightloss and a healthier lifestyle. Someone had once done the same for her, and she knew that I needed something to work towards, so she passed you on to me.
Frankly, I wasn't anywhere close to ready for a relationship with you.
I've thought about walking away, letting you go, letting you find someone new.
But I'm kinda glad that I didn't.
Remember the other night when I pulled you out, took a deep breath, and tried you on?
I can't tell you how amazing it felt to have you button and zip. There you were, a size 20…
I know, I know, I looked a little like a stuffed sausage- you are a little constricting right now.
That will change, though. Because I'm changing.
I'm in the process of finding myself. And I think that you'll suit me, you'll fit me-at least for a little while.
Don't get too comfortable though, Goal Pants. I'm not able to make a committment to you. You see, I'm somewhat of the love'em and leave'em type lately. As long as it fits me, you have a place in my life; just understand that it's temporary.
Thanks for sticking around, Goal Pants. I look forward to going out with you, being seen with you, having fun with you. I know you'll make me look good.
At least for a little while… until I move on.